The reactions, including mine, were interesting. Everyone who replied felt that layoffs should be based on performance, not on personal feelings. And they should.

But…(there it is…that but)…

Here in the real world, things do not work that way. Companies base all kinds of decisions on relationships and personal feelings rather than on merit.

A couple months ago, I wrote about a company with an unsecure shopping cart on their site. Their web designer did one of the BIGGEST no no’s known to web designers. He knowingly left an unsecure shopping cart up on the site. When I notified the company, I explained to them (through the referenced post) why their unsecure shopping cart was a dangerous thing and why they needed to fix it. Now, the owner went to my site and KNOWS that I build websites. He knows that I obviously know what I’m doing. Did he fire his incompetent web designer and hire me? NO!! Why is that? Because he had a prior RELATIONSHIP with his web designer. Even though this person or company could have cost him his business if the credit card companies caught wind that he was taking card numbers over a non secure website, he still kept the web designer and had them fix the problem. Now I see that the same company is on facebook. Again, they have some nitwit advising them. Here is what their wall looks like:

If you look, they have all of their posts coming from HootSuite. They NEVER EVEN VISIT THE FACEBOOK ACCOUNT!!! You can’t interact with customers that way. Poor Elke has been waiting since Sunday (it’s now Wednesday) for an answer. Sure, she can visit the site and get her answers, however, this post from her proves that she found them on facebook and wants to interact with them on facebook. However, someone told them to just put up a facebook account and spam the facebook wall with great things about themselves. (I think they need to take my Internet Marketing Using Social Spaces – 4 Week Course)

I notified another person who has a website that there were many dead links on the home page of her site. This person is a guest speaker at a huge month long online conference that I am attending. She is supposed to be an expert. However, her poor website was not a reflection of her professionalism. Obviously, her current web designer wasn’t doing his job. When I brought this to her attention, did she hire me and get rid of the web designer who didn’t do his job? NO…because she has a prior relationship with the web designer who doesn’t do his job. She did have him redesign the site.

I could post many, many stories just like this, but I think you get the picture. If you create great relationships with people, you can screw up quite a bit and they will probably keep you around. But…if you DON’T have those relationships…you aren’t going to be around very long if you do manage to get your foot in the door. It works that way in the corporate world as well as in the real world. Employees and self employed people come upon these same hurdles. It’s all in how you maneuver past them.

If you are trying to do business online, consider taking my Internet Marketing Using Social Spaces – 4 Week Course and learn how to use social spaces to create those relationships and build your business.

You wouldn’t?  Why not?

This is exactly what a lot of people do every day on social spaces online.  They request your friendship and then start slamming their offer all over the place.  They don’t take the time to get to know you first or let you get to know them. When you look at their updates, there’s not many attempts to get to know anyone or to interact on a social level, but there are mostly posts saying how wonderful they and/or their “deal” is.

They call this “internet marketing” however, it’s just plain rude.

Treat social spaces like a party.  You are there to get to know people.  If people are interested in what you do, they will ask.  Talk to them.  Get to know them.  Ask about them.  They may want to find out more and ask about you.  Then again, they may not.  Either way, that’s OK.  Not everyone is going to be interested in doing business with you.  Just like not everyone at a party will be interested in dating you.

So…what can you do?  Well…think of it this way…if you were going to a party and you wanted people to find you approachable, you would probably shower and dress nicely.  You may be sure to brush your teeth so your breath doesn’t chase people away.  You would probably even put deodorant on so you smell good.  Maybe you would even put on some jewelry.  If you’re a lady, you might wear makeup.  All of these things make you look good and make you more appealing to others.

Your social spaces profile is a representation of who you are.  It is your profile.  Put your business links on there.  Start the relationship building process by commenting on other people’s updates and giving out good information.  Be nice, talk to people and act just as you would act in a social setting in person.

Don’t post updates about your business constantly.  This is like screaming at everyone at the party.   You can occasionally say something to pique curiosity and get others to come look at your profile or website.  Notice I said occasionally.  The majority of your interactions with others should be non-business related.  Post about your day.  Let others get to know you.  Reply to comments that others leave.  Be nice and kind.  If others are interested in finding out more about you, they can come to your profile where you will have links to more information.

Be cautious when posting updates.  Contrary to the popular belief of most business people trying to use social media, your updates are NOT to be considered part of your profile.  They are to be considered part the the community.  These are like statements you would make at a party to someone you are just meeting.  You wouldn’t walk up to someone and say “Hi, my name is Suzie and I have the greatest deal since sliced bread over here.  You MUST come with me so I can tell you about it”.  You might get a few desperate people who are willing to follow you and listen, but these types of relationships don’t generally last.  You want a relationship built on mutual interests.  Whether it be a friendship, a business partnership or a love relationship.  It doesn’t matter.  They each need to be built on solid ground in order for them to work.

Now…some may say “Come on Roxanne…we all know that strip clubs are very popular.  A lot of people like that scene.  What do you say about that?”  Think about the stripper, patron relationship.  How many good, solid relationships have you ever heard of that began between a stripper and the people patronizing the strip club?  Not counting soap operas, I haven’t heard of many.  There’s nothing wrong with strippers.  I know quite a few.  There’s nothing wrong with people who patronize strip clubs.  I know quite a few of those as well.  However, for the majority of people, they do not go to places like that looking for a serious relationship.

Bottom line, if you are serious about building a business online, simply be yourself, be nice and be helpful.  If others WANT to find out more about you they will ask.  Make yourself appealing and approachable and you’ll have plenty of people wanting to get to know you.  Walk into the room and strip naked and you’re going to offend a much larger percentage than not.

Bottom line – remember – don’t strip naked at the party.  Save that for later in the relationship.

Click on the video below for access to a free webinar replay explaining why you MUST have a properly built website and how to get traffic to it.